“And sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we still hope to conceive.”
Making a baby may seem fun (and at times it definitely is) but it can also be pretty stressful if the expectations are not met. When you’re causing yourself great mental and physical pain through a two-week wait, and while you stare down at that negative sign yet again. The journey gets tougher and tougher as the process continues month after month, taking a toll on your emotional state.
Whether you’ve experienced a miscarriage, or you are currently going through fertility treatments, here are some tips on how to stay balanced when your hormones aren’t.
1. Don’t Let the Two-Week Wait Take Over
The two-week wait is a time of high stress and anxiety when you are trying to conceive. Each day between your ovulation and pending next period can feel like a year. During this time frame, you may feel constantly anxious.
Instead, use this time and change your focus on other things and the people you love. Plan a movie date with your partner or try out a new recipe that you have always wanted to. With the stricter measures, spend time shopping online for ingredients. You may also start a home or craft project, a new hobby, or a new skill. Video call friends and families, connect via technology.
The two-week wait worries might still linger in the back of your mind as you participate in these activities. However, it is definitely better than letting that worries take the front seat!
2. Give Yourself A Break From Self-Blame
When things don’t go according to plan, it is common to see women spiral. There are many ways to say “I should have”, “if only”, “why didn’t I”. But obsessing over these is fruitless. You did what was right at the time. Focus on the relationship you have with yourself. It is the most important relationship when going through fertility treatments. Be your own best friend and keep your head up. Look forward to what is ahead and give yourself a break from self-blame.
3. Do Not Overdo Pregnancy Tests
Pregnancy test-taking is usually one of the main focuses when you are trying to conceive. Whether it is to gather up your supplies or experimenting with the timing to take a test. You might still be hesitant to cut back on taking tests while trying to get pregnant, it can easily become a habit and be something that will make you feel more stressed rather than less.
4. Stop Basing Self-Worth on Fertility
Infertility can make any lady feel worthless. She may feel broken, ashamed, and worthless. These are all very common feelings. It is important to understand that you need to remember you are still you. You don’t become someone else when you’re diagnosed with infertility. You are still the awesome and capable person you are. You are still that caring and loving person. There are no changes. So stop basing your self-worth on fertility.
5. Enjoy And Have Fun Having Sex
Trying to get pregnant can change your sex life. Couples trying to conceive are notorious for turning sex into a chore. What used to be a passionate time to connect intimately with your partner becomes a frustration to shame to a lowered libido. Having sex begins to feel like a task towards a seemingly unattainable goal. This then leads to the weakening of other aspects of your relationship.
Give attention to the relationship you have with your partner. Take time to talk to each other about how infertility is affecting both of you and discuss what you both feel is needed to stay connected.